Bad Alex

I said I would try to post, and I failed miserably. I am going to blame the spotty internet (I was using the neighbor’s, who live not only across the street but also kind of behind another house – they must have some kind of super internet) and the fact that I just couldn’t bring myself to ‘evaluate’ my trip while it was still ongoing. I was living in the moment, damnit.

Apologies aside, I had a wonderful time in Ohio. As usual, the trip ended with us trying to figure out if we could stay a few more days. I looked at flights,juggled schedules. But it was too expensive and Colin convinced me that I would have a mental breakdown if staying meant I would need to pack for Tofino in 24 hours.

So we came home. I have the horrible airplane skin to prove it. Damned recycled air makes my skin look like that of an albino Desperate Housewife of Orange County. Which makes no sense, even as I write it, considering that any one of them would die before becoming as pale as myself. However, if they were pale, they wouldn’t be nearly as wrinkly, and they probably wouldn’t all eventually suffer from some type of life threatening melanoma.

The things you think about at 1am. Goodness.

Back to the trip. Because it is 1am Vancouver time (making it 4am east coast, which I had just gotten used to), I’m just going to post some highlights of the trip right now. Please enjoy.

Oh. My. God. Just looking at this made me sick. I can’t believe we tried to eat all of that. Not one thing on that table is not fried. Good Lord it was glorious. Clockwise from the top left hand corner: Loaded fries topped with cheese and bacon, served with barbecue sauce; deep fried pickles with ranch dressing; shoestring onion rings and pretzel bites with caramel sauce. Oh, the caramel sauce….

P.S. We ate all of that at the Warehouse Restaurant in Roscoe Village. Should you ever venture out to Ohio, you must go and eat the pretzel bites at the Warehouse. Also, should you ever venture out to Ohio, please take me with you.

Someone please explain this picture to me. I know I’m in it. But I don’t understand it. Here’s what I do understand:

1. That is the biggest basket in the world.

2. We’re in Dresden, Ohio.

3. The flowers are really pretty.

4. I clearly have a strong set of hips.

It’s a cow! I remember this cow. Do you remember this cow? No? Allow me to refresh your memory.

You’re welcome, Tarah. The cow said to say she misses you. Not really.But she’s still there, waiting. Fer yooooouuuu.

I can’t. I just can’t. Five Guys, whoever you are, please expand into Canada. Please put one of these in Maple Ridge. Hell, put one in my backyard, I’ll let you in FO FREE! I had heard about Five Guys before we ended up eating at their location in Easton Mall in Columbus, but I did not comprehend how amazing those burgers would be. So good.

SO GOOD.

I love this picture. Colin was so tired the whole trip. He and my mom were both sick on the flight to Ohio and were still recovering in the first few days, which wasn’t helped along at all by being in a strange house, a strange bed and ingesting ridiculous amounts of fried food. But he held it together and joined us on every outing, every little thing we felt he needed to see, he came along and saw. But this picture? It was him pretty much the entire trip.

More stories to come soon! I have to avoid packing somehow, right?

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One Comment on “Bad Alex”

  1. You are absolutely hilarious and I look forward to living vicariously through your blog when your internet stops being shoddy.


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