Goals For The Summer

My goals are not inspirational. There will be no soul-searching this summer. I will not be Eat-Pray-Loving it in Tofino. These goals are not about finding myself or even really bettering myself. I just want to live my life in a kick ass way, so someday my kids won’t look at me and say “Wow Mom. Boring life, much?”. It’s my worst fear.

So, without further ado, my goals for the summer:

1. Overcome my fear of dark water.

I will achieve this by having my boss Chrissy stuff me in a scuba suit and hold me under water until I calm-the-hell-down.

2. Take part in Tofino festivals even when I’m too damn tired.

I will achieve this by signing up to volunteer at nearly every event over the summer. I think there are six. I am going to hate myself by the end of May.

3. Kayak More.

I will achieve this by….kayaking more….? I did it for the first time last summer and shockingly, did not have the anticipated panic attack. In fact, I loved it.

4. Lose 20 pounds.

I will achieve this by a suicidal combination of P90X and LuluLemon workout gear. And I will eat at Sobo a lot less.

5. Learn to crochet.

I will achieve this by annoying my Grandma to teach me incessantly during our trip to Ohio, and then bullshitting my way through it in Tofino. Will it work or will she stab me with a knitting needle? Stay tuned!

6. Entertain you until you pee your pants. Just once is all I need.

This won’t be hard. The tourist jokes write themselves.

 

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